Let's talk about I hate you

My three year old one is in the thick of the "tantrumy threes" and it is killing me. KILLING ME. Here is a run down of the things that caused some of her tantrums that I can recall from today so you can have a glimpse into my daily life.

• Her clothes were cold
• Her clothes weren't purple
• Her pants were itchy
• Her pants went on after she put on her socks
• Her socks make her feet sweaty
• Her shoes are too freezy
• She wasn't wearing a skirt
• She hates pants
• She hates long sleeve shirts
• She wants to go inside McDonalds
• The wind was blowing
• She wanted to wear her purple skirt and Brave shirt
• Where did her purple skirt go
• The movie I put on wasn't Charlotte's Web 
• She hates going to the bus stop
• She only wanted to wear her gingerbread socks
• She hates Christmas
• She hates Christmas music
• Her seat belt straps were too tight
• She didn't want to go get her sister
• The seat belt buckle was too high
• Her feet were itchy
• She wanted to be unbuckled
• She didn't want Buddy the Elf to go away
• She wanted to go to Grammy's house
• She wanted to be left alone
• Her brother looked at her
•  I looked at her
• I was talking in the living room
• She couldn't find her gingerbread socks
• She HATES all the people
• She HATES me

I'm sure there were quite a few I missed and maybe today was especially rough but man oh man, how am I going to survive this girl?

The thing about this girl is that she is so incredibly loved. Especially by me. I sometimes wonder if people think she was an "accident" because her older sister is just twenty two months older than her, but having another baby when we did was very much an intentional thing. 

 I joke that she's kept me on my toes right from the start. My pregnancy with her was not a simple one and she had this spontaneous heart issue that is rarely detected but it was which resulted in a whole lot of appointments and a whole lot of stress on my part. She earned herself a four week early delivery and in a way, I feel like she's been trying to do things earlier than necessary every since then.

She learned to speak at a really young age to the point where it's hard for me to remember her not talking. I love love LOVE that when you ask her what she is doing she responds with "anything" instead of the typical "nothing". What I don't love is her attempts to use the "I hate you".

I really thought I had another ten years until I heard that dreaded sentence that I know shouldn't sting my heart because she's three but it practically knocks the wind out of me each time. It blows my mind that those words even come out of her mouth because it's not as if I have ever screamed them at her or anyone for that matter. I'm pretty much at a loss and don't know what to do besides love her anyways.

And I do. I love so many things about her. I love that she loves to snuggle and rub my arm. I love that she is obsessed with her brother and calls him "my little cutie". I love that she has dark brown eyes. I love that she rarely calls her sister by her full name and almost always shortens it. I love her dimples and that the one on her right cheek is deeper. I love that she is capable of making friends every where she goes. I love that she will sit in my bird's nest (her word for the space created when I'm sitting on the couch with my legs bent to the side). I love that she picks up on lyrics and sings along to the radio. I love that she loves pickles and lemons. I just love her.

I'm desperately trying not to wish the days away and have any of my children get older any faster but if I could take one thing away, it would for sure be the "I hate you" days. Tomorrow will be better.

Let's talk about the Elf on the Shelf

Have you heard about Elf on the Shelf? If not, give that little link a click and discover what it's all about.

In December of 2010, my little love bugs received their very own Elf on the Shelf from their Grammy and Papa. He was given the name Andy and has been a beloved member of our family during the month of December. He makes his grand appearance the morning after our Christmas tree is put up and brings with him a special breakfast from the North Pole. The breakfast is a bunch of holiday treats that no mom would ever serve her children for breakfast, but one special morning a year, Andy the elf makes it happen. He spends the rest of the month perched various places in our home as a "watch dog" for Santa Clause. We must have been given the best elf ever because he never causes any trouble or pulls any pranks on us.

I've noticed a couple of articles about why people choose not to have an Elf on the Shelf in their home circulate around social networks. I have also noticed people voice their complaints about how annoying it is to see pictures of their friend's Elf on the Shelf each day. Pinterest boards have been dedicated to hundreds of ideas for Elf on the Shelf visits. What I haven't noticed is people writing about why the DO choose to participate. Well friends, lets talk about why we do choose to let Andy in our home.

One article I read described it as a "super labor intensive holiday tradition". Little Andy has never done more than do what he's supposed to, sit on a shelf. We got our elf before the public days of Pinterest, but not much before. If memory and Google search prove me correct, Pinterest was an invite only website up until August of 2012 (pinterest is a whole different topic I'll have to talk about someday). The movie, An Elf's Story had not even made it's television debut yet. All I had to work with was the cute little story that came along with our Elf. Super labor intensive holiday traditions in my book equate to hauling out the 13 rubbermaid containers filled with holiday decor  down from the attic. Hiking in the mountains in knee deep snow for hours to find the perfect Christmas tree, sawing it down yourself, hauling it to your vehicle, mounting it on top of said vehicle, displaying it in your home with all the lights and ornaments you  hauled down from the attic and put on it is a labor intensive holiday tradition. Propping a cute little elf up somewhere different in your home each day, easy peasy.

Some people get creeped out by the idea of an elf watching your home during the day and reporting back to Santa at night. Personally, I like that idea better than the idea of Santa being a visionary. Can you imagine what kind of crazy you'd be if you could see the actions of every kid through out the world all day long. Coo coo for sure. I'm lucky to be sane watching my own three kids behavior for one whole day. (Again, something to talk about on another day.) If seeing a little elf on our fire place mantel is going to help my 3 year old one put her shoes on without complaining about the texture, color, pattern, and temperature of her socks, the style of shoe, the color of the shoe, the way the seam of the socks is touching her feet, the tightness or looseness of the velcro straps, the temperature of the shoes, the fact that the wind is blowing as well as the fact that she hates socks and shoes and never wants to go outside again, I will display that ugly little elf! Because this happens. Every. Day. And it helps calm down the three year olds tantrums 52% of the time.

I've heard people murmur about how it takes away from the Spirit of Christmas. In my house, we do the magic of Santa as well as the Spirit of Christmas. Sure, there are stories that bring the connection of how Santa Clause relates to Jesus Christ, but just like the Easter Bunny and the resurrection of Jesus Christ, we choose to celebrate both. The whole month of December, we read from the Bible about the birth of Jesus Christ. We display nativity scenes and sing Christmas hymns. We go to a creche display and we listen to a special Christmas devotional. We go to church every Sunday throughout the year with the exception of illness. We read scriptures nightly and pray many times a day as a family. Christ is a central figure in our home. We have our whole lives to continue to learn of Christ, to serve Him and work to become more like Him. A little Elf on our Shelf does not detract from any of that..

The magic of Santa seems to last for just a minute, with kids ceasing to believe at younger and younger ages. At our house, if you say you don't believe you get underwear. We have Santa decorations, we have an annual photo with Santa, and we expect him to leave us a gift by the fireplace Christmas morning. We listen to the radio station that started playing holiday music on Veteran's day. My kids believe that Santa can do just about anything and in my opinion, the world needs a little more faith in people's capabilities in general. If Santa and his elves help restore that faith in my five year old, so be it.

In all honesty, the magic of Santa is helping me to not focus on my grown up problems that seem to stress my kids out. My five year old one has been anxious and not sleeping well and I really think she's picking up on the stress I'm having. The magic of Santa is helping me to smile when I feel like crying about these lame grown up trials because just like we have our whole lives to continue to learn about Christ, we have our whole grown up lives to go through some pretty crappy grown up problems. The magic of Santa is reminding me to put on my big girl pants and try with all my might to keep a smile on face so that my kids don't have to worry about anything more than they should. So while my kids are small and their biggest worry is if the next Sophia the First episode is going to be the one with Ariel, we will have the magic of Santa and an Elf on the Shelf.